The need to pack my bags and move away has been on my mind lately
I am emotionally unstable, I feel this fierce need to get away from everybody. The disturbing part is I don’t want to tell anyone, not my friends, not even family.
I just want to disappear without a trace, like go to a place without service where I can’t be reached for a few months. Is that being selfish? my family would hurt and my friends would definitely wonder what happened to me.
I wouldn’t wish that on anyone but I really want to do this for me, I have tried convincing myself overtime that it doesn’t make any sense, I have people that love me around, why would I want to drop everything and just move to nowhere.
What exactly is wrong with me? maybe I just need a change of environment, I have been here most of my life anyway, I’d like to travel and see whats out there, I want to explore, do many fun adventurous things, this is something I want to do alone, I haven’t discussed this with anyone because they might try to change my mind and tell me to stay put, if I don’t listen , they’d call me a rebel.
I am not scared to be called names but I have always been one to cherish family ties so I have never really done anything out of the ‘family comfort zone’, I have always listened to my parents, be the good girl they trained me to be.
These days, I want to soarrrrrrrr, do things and enjoy it to the fullest, live life. The need to get away is strong, I have been shaking it off for long now but I am afraid I won’t be able to hold up anymore, I might just give in any day now.
It could be a phase, I am not sure if i will ever stop thinking about this and finally settle down. Have you ever felt the strong desire to get away before? does it ever stop? I hope it does but until then, fingers crossed.