If you keep looking at what’s behind, you won’t see the magic ahead
My last post focused on my childhood and how I wish I could go back because things were so much easier back then but the thing is, the past is the past. No matter how sweet and glamorous it was, it is gone and all that’s left is memories. Memories are tricky because they linger on, even ones we’d rather forget. In my Physiology class, It was part of my favorite topics, I worked on it for my final year research project. Memory is majorly controlled by the Hippocampus, a part of the brain. I don’t want to go into full medic so I’d just summarize by saying stress and emotional memories are recalled vividly because of certain hormones such as epinephrine which causes long-term retention of these memories.
Yeah in case you have wondered a lot about why it’s so hard to forget certain events in your life.
Moving on is never easy because of the memories, some days we claim we are done but we realize we can’t stop thinking about those things we so much want to forget. The human mind is wonderful, I mean you wake up today and say ‘ I am letting go, I can’t do this anymore’ two minutes later, you are looking for a reason, something to hold on to because your mind is not ready to let go. I have been in this situation countless number of times and it’s not an easy place, its like moving in a circle, you find yourself coming back to the same spot. Frustrating ugh ? I know it is .
Our minds can’t filter memories the way we want. It only filters when the memory causes great pain that’s too much for the body to handle. Now back to course, How do you forget and just move on? I have asked myself these questions over and over again. You simply learn to live with yourself and accept that this is no longer your present, it’s in the past. I mean you simply can’t do abracadabra and forget, if I could, I would have. You can only make a quiet resolution each day and let go slowly, it takes time.
I heard somewhere it takes about eighteen months to get over someone you were once in love with. This is just statistics of course but imagine being hung up on someone for that long! My oh my! Some people never get over these things at all. Everything is so complicated, I simply can’t sometimes. I mean it’s a lot of hard-work if you ask me, you try to let go, move on and start over again. Some people just give up, we can’t all be fighters. Some even lose themselves in the process because they just want to hold on to things that is long gone. That is why you keep making silly excuses for his lying ass, you know he is a cheat but you can’t leave him because you are so blinded with whatever it is, nothing is clear to you. You don’t realize how much you are hurting yourself by trying to hold on to a sinking ship. What irks my soul most is people who suffers from domestic violence. I mean I have not been there and it hurts my heart when I see these things around me, the only question that comes to mind is ‘why stay’. Are you so scared to be without the other person that you’d rather stay on in an abusive relationship while you continue to burn till you explode?
I didn’t mean to write this much but it just keeps coming and I can’t stop. I know not everyone is strong enough to just forget and keep it moving like that didn’t just happen but trust me, it only hurts for a while, it is so much better than holding on to that tree branch that’s almost fallen. Stop staying in that disrespectful situation. Think about it, you can start by cutting all ties, change your location if you have to, everything that will give you peace of mind should be your priority. Don’t be a shell just waiting to crack or a timely bomb waiting to explode. Life isn’t fair, people change all the time, yes at one point , things were working out fine, he/she gave you all the attention you needed, he/she promised you the world but all that’s gone now. Please wake up! ITS OVER.
I saw this quote somewhere ‘we promise forever in a world where even life is temporary’ It hits me, it really did. Nothing is permanent, absolutely nothing so why the fuse? Why do I have to subject myself to months of torment when things stopped working how I want it?
I know it’s not easy, I have said it earlier but we need to be able to get up in time, we need to take proper care of our mental health. You can’t keep telling yourself how hard it is while you continue to wallow in pain, find a solution, get help, be strong. People will always be people, I will hurt someone when I don’t mean to, someone will hurt me. It’s a cycle, the only good thing is the ability to let go and move on. As the day goes by, no matter how much you think about it, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much you cry, you will heal. It’s all part of the process. The pain will stop, the tears will stop. You will find someone/something better. You will be happy again.
What is gone is gone, I love my childhood but that’s in the past. I am an adult now and I am creating new memories. There is magic in here, right where I am now and I can’t wait to see it unfold. Moving on is hard but I have learnt that it is necessary to accept whatever situation that warrants this hard decision. It gets better… Eventually