People always leave, this is something that’s been stuck in my head for as long as I can remember. I made a pact with myself while growing up not to get attached to anyone, I realize later how impossible that is, you meet different people every day and its only normal for some to form an important part of your lives. You find yourself growing fond of them and you start to allow yourself to feel because it’s not so bad after all, he/she seems nice and you open up, forgetting that they will eventually leave. Now I am not saying they all leave, it’s just that majority leaves and when that happens, no matter how hard you try not to hurt, you really can’t help yourself.
When they leave, you start to reminisce, think of the good memories so you don’t end up hating them and you realize in that moment that the signs were there, you’d realize you knew all along it wasn’t going to last. This isn’t the same in all cases because with some people, you just never see it coming but mostly, not every persons can hide for long. You begin to ask yourself ‘why didn’t I do something, why didn’t I say anything?’
I think we all know the answer to that already, we decide not to focus on the signs and brush it off, we like living in the moment which is not a bad thing now, I just feel we need to see the signs for what they are sometimes, if someone keeps acting up, don’t continually forgive them while risking your self-peace and sanity. Let them go! Yes I know I sound defensive right now but at the end of everything, it all comes down to me and how much their actions affects me. This isn’t about anybody, this is about wanting what’s good for me. I hate hurting, it irks me when something gives me pain because I don’t have total control on what I feel. I hate that I see these signs and not do anything, I hate that I brush off the signs because I enjoy being with them and I am trying everything possible to make them stay. It’s really hard that someone makes you get comfortable and one morning, they are gone (not dead) just distant, whoosh like air. It just doesn’t make any sense
I have few friends mainly because of my introverted nature but I came to understand that introverts hurt the most. We just don’t become friends with anyone like extroverts. We take our time to study and put everything on scale just to be sure this person is perfect for us, we love them with our hearts because as much as we love our solitude, we enjoying giving them our time which is rare and when they leave, we break down, we cry inside and it takes a long time to let someone else in. This is the harsh reality. I have decided to stop brushing off the signs, I have decided to do what’s best for me, and I have decided to stop investing my time in temporary relationships. Once I see a sign, that’s it. I am gone
Now I know getting hurt is part of what makes us human, I have had my share and I’d just really like to be in total control of my emotions. I don’t think that’s too much