What Changed?

Have you ever reached a point where you just want to stop trying and give it all up because you are tired of pretending to be okay? Have you ever thought of saying ‘I am done’? It gets so hard waking up every day, going to a work you hate and smiling at people when you’d rather stay in and sleep all day just because you simply stopped caring

Have you ever being in a state of total confusion where nothing makes sense to you? Have you ever fallen so hard you start to think there is no salvation? Have you ever felt so low you can’t seem to get up and even though you try, getting up seems so hard? Have you ever being in that complete state of no return? Have you ever thought of ending it all?

The pain gets so overwhelming, you feel your heart constricting so bad and blood clamoring for space to ease their flow , you tried to scream but your mouth is so heavy, you hold on to your chest fervently saying your prayers hoping you don’t die.

Why do you try holding on? Haven’t you given up on life already, You have been screaming “let me die, I can’t live” What changed?

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4 thoughts on “What Changed?

  1. I know exactly what you’re talking about. I have felt that way for a long, long time as well. I don’t have any answers for you, but I can tell you that in my life, there are things I have given up on, and that’s let me cope better with the things that remained. For example, long ago I decided I didn’t want a “career” that I would continually climb the corporate ladder for. Instead, I just wanted a “job” that could pay my bills and leave me with self respect at the end of the day. I stopped pursuing friendships when it seemed that all of the effort was on my part. I choose things to give up on, and that has helped me some.

    Also, for me, these feelings of surrender pass. I never forget them, but there are periods when I’m not under their control.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I am glad you found your peace, thank you so much for sharing, hopefully this will pass for me too and i’d once again be in total control of my emotions.

      Like

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