Aunty/Uncle! when will you get married? will it be this year or next year ? hehe
I have been thinking about this a lot , what exactly is marriage or better still, what is wedding? is there a difference?
According to Marriam Webster Dictionary, Marriage is the state of being united as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law
- the mutual relation of married persons : wedlock
- the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage
A wedding anniversary or its celebration —usually used in combination
- a marriage ceremony usually with its accompanying festivities
Now from the above definition, i believe we can now differentiate between marriage and wedding. You’d ask me what my point is now, its quite simple.
Most people look forward to the wedding alone, the grand celebration; the ‘owambe’ as yorubas’ like to call it , the glam and all that comes with it forgetting that the sole purpose of the wedding is the MARRIAGE. After all the singing and dancing of this beautiful day, reality begins to set in , this is where people fail.
They say marriage is different for everyone, the pressure and daily challenges married couples face differs but there is a slight similarity in ways it is addressed. Our generation are no longer about stay in the marriage for the kids anymore, people are becoming empowered and are no longer dependent on their spouses such that rate of separation and divorce have increased drastically.
Marriage is a social institution, it is a till death do us path journey but its sad that people don’t care about this anymore, some even get married because of pressure from friends and families. The society we live in doesn’t help matters when it comes to this, as a girl, they expect you to get married by 25 like its a golden rule, your aunts and uncles start asking when will you get married! That is not my sole purpose in life! get off my neck ma, i will marry when i want to marry please.
I was with a friend sometimes last week and we were just having our normal chats when she told me about a girl at her regular salon, she said there was a discussion about young girls getting married a lot and the girl goes ‘as i dey so, na to marry one rich old papa wey don born all him pikin finish, i am here to enjoy life biko, cant kill myself’ She simply said she cant stress herself and all she need is to find a rich old man to settle down with. REAL PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IS LOST
Now i ask myself all the time, what is the point? love used to be a major factor, understanding , trust and compromise. People used to love being in love, now we are all just bunch of savages with trust issues trying to have a good time not caring about whatever happens after because well, we are damaged either from a past relationship that went wrong or from seeing the relationship our parents have, it could be anything. The world is in a bad shape right now so we see this things everyday and the more we see, the more we make different quiet resolves in our minds. We simply cant deal
Weddings are always nice and colorful with the bride looking like a saint risen to deliver us from evil and the husband looking adoringly upon his beloved. Its always spectacular, beautiful people smiling, dancing and eating like tomorrow will never come but what happens after? That is what scares me the most. As much as i love love, I don’t care about weddings haha because i know its not just about that day, all i care about is growing old together despite the disagreement and getting through storms that’s sure to come.
I still believe in the institution called Marriage, i believe in love, i believe in happy ever after but i also believe there is more to life than getting married and i wont be taking that step until i am convinced in my heart, body and soul that yes! this is the one, this is the person i want to spend the rest of my happy life with because once i am in, there is no looking back.
Aunty/Uncle, your mates are getting married, when will you marry?