Don’t.

Who do you think you are?

How do you step in here

And tell me it shouldn’t hurt this much

What do you know about pain?

When have you ever felt

like your life shattered into many pieces

broken edges, scattered around you

never to be made whole again

Tell me, can you describe this feeling?

Don’t speak on how I grief

You don’t know anything about it

You don’t even know the half of it

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Tonight, I cried.

Tonight I cried

Free flowing

nerve wrecking tears

Of what I cry for

I do not know

nor do I care to find out

Tonight I cried

I willed myself to stop

But I couldn’t find the willpower

nor the sheer willingness to stop

So I cried till I fell asleep

And dreamt of fountains

A grand sight,

a beauty to behold

Perhaps I will wake up smiling

But right now,

I will keep this dream alive

It is better than any reality

Life without you.

I know we said to let go

but part of me still wake up  with a little hope

that you might want us back

I have always been the one to quell the fire

but I know I’d be waiting a long time if I expect you to do anything

about the pain we both feel

It’s a shame now;

I have decided to see how long I can endure the pain this time

and every day

I am starting to embrace life without you 

Speak Life

It was  4:07PM on a sunny Thursday afternoon and this thought came to my head, how have I survived thus far!?  I have had my share of crazy days and the past few months have been nothing but eventful, I wish it were events I’d like to relive but it is quite the opposite. One of the things that have kept me going all the while has been self-proclamations. “Speak life into yourself every day and you might actually get through your day”, I actually just coined that quote right now but that is by the way. The important thing is, I read somewhere that it doesn’t matter what is going on in your life, you must always avoid negative talk/negativity. Putting spirituality in it now, “out of the abundance of heart, the mouth speaks”. You have to be very careful what you say to yourself. I mean you have serious issues you are dealing with, do you really want to make it worse by saying nasty things to yourself?

My head really aches, it has been established by my brain of course, that is why I can feel it and except I go to the doctors to complain so I can get proper medication to treat myself, I am not sure I’d like to turn it into a nursery rhyme, I’d rather say “I am well, I am healthy, my head is fine, my body is fine” Is this going to make the headache stop? Maybe, maybe not but I’d rather say that while I use MEDICATION. Putting spirituality into it again, what’s that thing about faith? “Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

The word that comes out of your mouth is a strong weapon, “death and life are in the power of the tongue”.

We must always think about the consequences of the things we say to ourselves.

Wake up every morning and speak positively to your life

At every point where you feel like all isn’t well, make positive declarations.

Today I declare peace of mind

Today I assert that my skin is clear

Today, all is well with me

Look into the mirror if that will help, speak to the image in front of you.

When every other thing is failing in our lives, what is the one thing that keeps us going?

You’d notice I didn’t use “pray” as much, I believe most of us already know that “Prayer is the master key” but then again, this post isn’t focused on how well you pray or not and this is not a motivational brouhaha trust me, we all have crazy days; in some cases, those days just seem to stretch much further. I am not saying don’t put in the necessary work of course, faith without work is dead same as proclamations without work. As much as you work hard, always affirm that things are going to be just fine no matter how gray it looks now. This works for me all the time, just thought I’d share; might work for you too; who knows. 

Broken

We always knew this would happen

It didn’t stop us from digging deeper anyway

The odds were too much

We couldn’t go against it

It’s like the universe threw us at each other

Only to rip us apart altogether

Could we have fought harder?

Well now we will never find out

We are broken.

I wish today…..

I wish today you would cast all your cares and burdens aside

I wish today you would see the beauty that is life around you

I wish today you would inhale the fresh air and appreciate the gift that is called healthy

I wish today you would think about past glories, the journey so far, the battles fought on your behalf.

I wish today you would thank the universe for the joy of FAMILY and the love that you have spread around you.

I wish today your heart will be full of happiness all around

I wish today you will be free

 

Image Source: Google  

26.

Some few weeks back, I celebrated my 26th birthday. “How does it feel to be close to 30? What has changed? What is this, what is that” These are some of the questions I was asked; to be very honest, I feel the same. Water has no color and blood is still red.

There is no physical change yet; I feel younger today than I felt yesterday. The past few months have been a roller coaster; I went through some difficult phases because I have been holding myself together just by a tiny thread for as long as I can remember. My sanity was in check and at some point, I was going to give it all up. 

I am not sure if I am bold enough to admit all is well with me at the moment but I know I am getting stronger as each day passes by. Perhaps, it’s the joy of being 26 that brought with it this new peace I found or my mama’s prayers. Either way, I am reveling in this new found hope that I will be fine. 

Grateful for 26.

 

 

 

IMAGE SOURCE: GOOGLE IMAGES